


Fucking Santa

by Ianto_Jack_Ten



Category: Original Work
Genre: Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-14
Updated: 2013-12-14
Packaged: 2018-01-04 14:46:15
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,003
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1082256
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ianto_Jack_Ten/pseuds/Ianto_Jack_Ten
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In the Christmas spirit with help from my father for this idea I present to you, One Fucked up Santa portrayal. (My father said something about Santa fucking elves… That gave birth to this.)</p><p>No real action happening just a recount of the past.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fucking Santa

Mr. Claus, as all the elves called him, sat behind his desk, it was a large desk with a lot of drawers, the wood was mahogany and it was likely Saint Nikolas had fashioned it himself long ago, probably 80 or so years ago, long before any of the current elves were alive. Santa himself was immortal as was Mrs. Claus and the reindeer, the elves not so much. Each elf lived approximately fifteen-twenty years before they died. How did Santa always have elves if they died after such a short period of time when compared to an immortal? Well the answer is actually quite simple… but not exactly kosher. No, it is quite disturbing to some and that is why it is not told in children’s tales.

First, let’s dispel some rumors set up by people so they are not deemed ‘sexist’ when they make Christmas specials… all elves are both sexes, like worms -in both the sexual aspect and how we are treated. We all pretty much look the same by now, after hundreds of years of the small group being isolated from the rest of the species. Everyone has brown hair and blue eyes with a pale porcelain complexion, and yes we look pretty much like human males except our pointy ears and smaller bodies. Height and our slight personality differences are the only things that set us apart other than our names… if you can call them that.

The elves were busy taking the toys for all the good little boys and girls and putting them in their boxes, wrapping them, trying bows, and writing who they were for since it was about three weeks before Christmas and all the toys for the kids were already made, there was an increased amount of kids wanting electronics this year, that is not an easy job for an elf to make those things.

What else happened three weeks before Christmas is referred to as ‘Selection’ in the North Pole, what was what Mr. Claus was up to at his desk was deciding just that. One did not want to be selected because it was not a good thing. It seems like it is a good thing if one isn’t told how it ends, first all the elves are combed through to where only half are selected in the end. That half of the population starts being given more food and is separated from the other half as soon as Christmas is over with. 

What happens next? Well though humans might find this fun, breeding happens and it is absolute hell for those involved… because unlike humans, elves really aren’t sexual beings and very few enjoy being forced to breed to get more elves to work their lives away as slaves.

While that half is going through their hell the other elves have to do twice as much work and though they were saved from the initial selection that meant they were not safe from the second which was much, much worse. Only about a third of what was left were chosen for the second selection but no one ever saw them again after they were chosen. Let’s mention Mrs. Claus again. She’s old, really old and though she is immortal like Mr. Claus that didn’t mean she was going to be a good fuck forever. She was to where she hated sex almost as much as the elves that served them which set Mr. Claus off on a journey to find himself something to bone. In the North Pole there aren’t many choices other than the old female… the reindeer… and the elves.

Well Mr. Claus, “good ol’” Saint Nick, decided his reindeer were too precious to shove his dick in because if he hurt one he could be putting himself out of business and disappointing all the boys and girls so he decided the elves were a good choice… especially because they resembled the children he liked to watch while they were sleeping but could never touch because that would be very bad for business. So he picked elves for the second selection, the ones that he didn’t want anywhere near the breeding but were still somewhat attractive to the immortal. 

No elves know this except the ones actually selected though everyone is afraid of it because no one ever returns. So for an entire year Mr. Claus entertains himself with the elves he had taken… whether it be making them suck him as well as they could with their small mouths or stick his much-too-large-for-an-elf, pasty, thick dick in them… often he wasn’t careful enough and the poor elf ended up being really hurt. 

What happens after the year? Well… any elf that survives being molested and pretty much raped by the jolly man of Christmas gets shrunken down and turned into pretty much a toy to send to families to sit on their shelves and report back to Santa what the children do… Humans call them “Elf on a Shelf”. That is where they live until thrown out, somewhat immortalized by this –they can die but not by natural causes, doomed to remain there and watchful until destroyed by some outside force.

The “Elf on a Shelf” things that look female or have differences from what was described? Humans can dress in drag so can elves… especially when forced, though it can’t really be considered drag since elves are both sexes to begin with. Hair and things can also be colored.

Elves live hard lives thanks to the ungrateful little human brats on this Earth that keep Santa Claus in business. Without kids believing in Santa the elves wouldn’t have to suffer so much working all year to make toys, wrap them, breed against their will or possibly be selected to be sex slaves which results in what is being done now, sitting on the shelf in some brat’s house to tell the person who had been a horrible tormentor for a year what the child was doing.

**Author's Note:**

> So my father gave me a starting point idea then I went from there to make this… and I ran off with it. Making it into my thoughts on how the damn “Elf on a Shelf” things really came to be (They are scary >.>).   
> If it can’t be told, the one telling the story is an Elf that had gone through the second selection and was currently on a shelf in some kid’s house.


End file.
